Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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