You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Randomize
