he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
