you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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