its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
Randomize
