i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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