We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
