she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
