He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
You made out with two different species that night
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Randomize
