Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
