So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
Randomize
