I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
A+ Viking dick
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
