Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
one two three fourrrrnication!
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
