giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
