dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
