what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
