Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
