but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
Randomize
