my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
