I wannas sexs uuuuu
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Randomize