Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
