You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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