So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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