No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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