I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
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