Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
