Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Randomize
