maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Best friends brother. Beat that.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize