Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
you will always have a special place in my vag
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
