I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize
