maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
no. you can't hotbox the world.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I love you.
Bad choice
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
