Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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