I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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