shes about as inviting as chlamydia
this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Randomize
