the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Randomize
