It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
The power of my boobs compel you
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
