yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
