I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
