Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
