He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
