You made me cry and you don't even care
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
