if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
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