We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
Randomize
