I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize
