guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
17 year olds will be the death of me.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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