Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
