is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
