I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
