Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
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