Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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