I forgot how hot balto sounded
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
