i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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