Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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