We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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