I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
You smell like stripper and shame
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
