We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Randomize
