my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Randomize
