Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
