im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
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