How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
