She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
