and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
