Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize