your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
