got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
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