For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
