There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
